Done

This is my blog. I can and will state what I want on it. People do not have to agree with what I say or how I feel but this is my spot to say what I want. I have been bombarded with comments tonight and would love to post some of them so that others can see that I am not the only one that thinks this way but the only one that has the guts to actully put it to words, but since they start with "please don't post" I won't. Is that being difficult? Maybe, but it is funny that everyone reads my blog yet no one cares enough to post comments on all the great stuff I have posted about, even when I ask for comments, but are running to post comments on how rotten I am for being hurt about the relationship that my immediate famliy doesn't have with my extended family and to tell me how I am wrong in my feelings. I will not go into great detail about what has happened in the last few months that has hurt me because then it becomes a well you don't understand and what about this and what about that and to be honest, I really don't care anymore to have this fight. Five years is long enough and I am done. If you go back and read the original post you will see what I was saying was that I am jealous. I am hurt because I don't feel like I get the same. Read on and you see that I name not only the current situation at "home" but also the fact that we don't live near by and that there are only so many resources and so much time. I end it by saying that really it boils down to the fact that I don't get what I want and it has been years of promises that next year will happen and then next year rolls around and guess what it doesn't happen. Then I say I will get over it and move on, it is everyone else that is reading this blog, again my blog, and then jumping hot mad at me for thinking/feeling how I do. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ!!!! But I want to write about how I feel and will do so as I see fit on MY BLOG!!!!

As far as the previous post I do not expect everyone to attend everything, but maybe, just maybe, a sign that people WANT to attend something would be nice. It is so frustrating when invites go out and all I hear is well we will look into it but this may be something and this may be something. Just once I wish someone would say, we would love to be there. If something that really couldn't be avoided happened (like a snow storm or whatever) and you couldn't be there I would understand. But I have never heard that. There is always the "out" already in place.

I feel I have been rather clear. I feel that I am constantly begging people to be involved in my life and to include me, and obviously so has other since the comments to me say that I am very demanding and that is what is pushing everyone away. So what I am saying is that I will no longer do that. I will not come over unless I am invited, then I won't "infest" anyones house unwilling again or put anyone out since I brought over such a huge clan of people. Everyone is welcome at anything I post on this message board. I don't expect anyone to be at anything, it is my job as a parent to cover when others aren't there and I am very willing to do it. I will continue to post on this board what is going on in my life and what I am feeling and everyone is still very much welcome to read it so they can stay informed, but now it is up to you to decide how involved you want to be. Everyone is welcome to comment and tell me what is going on with them as they see fit and shoot I will even comment back to tell them how excited I am for them. What I am doing is removing from me is the expectation of a family that is involved and settle for what I get and then tell myself that is the best they can give and realize that, what I get is what they are willing to give and that is what they have the resources for. Take that how you may because I am sure that even though this is again MY BLOG, someone will read it and say there goes Holly again!!!! I am sure I wasn't exactly polictically correct, but guress what I don't have to be in my property, just like what happened to me at someone else's property this weekend. This arguement is over. I have nothing more to say on this and will not say anymore. Feel free to say what you want but don't expect me to comment.