Bad couple of days.

I wish I could say that my life is always wonderful but lately it seems to be looking on the down side. We are still waiting to hear on the loan stuff. We met with the broker this morning and he thought he would know something by tonight but he said for sure by Monday. With all the times that I have gotten my hopes up for David finding work and then it to fall through and now the waiting on this I am starting to think that it will be forever before the good starts to happen in our lives. I hate the negative feeling that I keep getting and David keeps telling me that no news is good news but that doubt just keep coming back time and time again.

I have been off for two more days now due to "SNOW." At first I was loving these snow days but now I am just frustrated. I was just getting caught up from the week off and now I am behind again. This just adds that much more work for me to get done and I am seriously hating it. Plus now they are talking about us making some of it up on Saturdays. Who wants to do that? Again more pressure, plus I am no where near ready for my meetings on Monday so that will have to go over as best as I can possible make it happen. Hopefully I will be able to pull it off.

Mikaela informed me today that Charles has a start date of March 18th in Salt Lake. I am still in very much denial that she is moving. I have to admit she is the best friend that I have ever had. I truly don't know what I will do without her when they move away. We talk 2-3 times a day and share everything with each other. When she is gone who is going to make me brownies and let me sit there and lick the bowl when I have had a bad day. I also am not looking forward to a summer without our weekly lunch dates. Shoot today since I was in such a slump she took me to Shopko and we sat in the furniture section and complained about how the show "Friends" never showed the true life of struggle that we all go through. So much so that people were walking past giving us strange looks.

I know it seems so petty to be upset and depressed over such trivial stuff but I have just put so much pressure on myself and it is really starting to pile up. I also know that this too shall pass but I just keep wondering when. I want so bad to control the time line that the Lord has in mind for both myself and my family. I know I don't know what he knows but truly I am not sure how much more of this I can take.

On a better note, Kezri tested for the gifted program for the Spokane School District. I know that she is high average as far as intelligence goes and the test they gave is more of an achievement test than a true cognitive test, but I would love to see what they found. However, the note said that they would only let us know if she makes the top 3%. It is the same test that we give in Medical Lake for our gifted program (well not really give, the assistant superintendent bought it for the psychs to give but has never said anything more than here it is to us and so we have no idea what is expected.)

Kalaree cut her hair off. She went short again. It is cute not my favorite hair cut on her but she does look really cute when she does it up.

Kami has been mommy's girl the last few days. She just loves having mom around but it does get tiresome to have her always wanting mom to do everything.

Now to figure out how to shut off my mind and to go to sleep. With all this going on I haven't really had a good nights sleep in a week. Which I am sure also plays into the whole depressed state that I am in. I so wish I had a class with Mr. Basham right now I could use a guided relaxation right about now. He is the best that I have ever had and yet here I sit without it now. OH, to be back in school and without all the "real world" pressures.